SOWPub Small Business Forums - Just Wanted To Say Thank You, Gordon...

...and for this reason.

I have a duaghter named Taylor Whitney Trump and I am hard on here because I want her to excel at everything she puts her hand to, period.

However, after reading this information I think I should re-think my approach to interacting with her.

My uncle used to be real hard on me when I strated in this field. I see why he was so hard now, but I don't want to give my daughter the same memories that I have at becoming a success.

So, thank you for the guidance.

Taylor

> Did you get a chance to visit Barry Neil
> Kaufman at www.option.org ? Did you take
> the virtual tour of the Campus?

> I first learned of Barry Neil and Samahria
> when I was a house parent at a group home
> for Developmentally Disabled people and we
> had an autistic resident.

> At that time the Son-Rise program was in
> it's infancy, but was of great interest to
> people who worked with people with autism.

> So, I've carefully followed their careers
> and regard them as MASTERS of life.

> When you work with people who have been
> labeled HANDICAPPED, you are taught to bring
> certain expectations with you...and from my
> living with people for 8 years, that is, in
> the house 24 hours a day 7 days a week,
> through it all...

> I found that most EXPERTS don't know what
> they are talking about, those experts that
> are book smart and experience stupid. You
> can't believe how parents have to fight so
> hard against the "knowledge" and
> wisdom of the experts.

> Anyhow, the minute you slap a label on a
> person, there comes with it all kinds of
> societal connotations. Whether that label is
> Mentally Retarded, Developmentally Disabled,
> Autistic, Severally Mentally Ill, Substance
> Abusing Menatlly Ill...

> or Marketer, or Guru or whatever...

> there is an inherent meaning in your mind.
> And also in the mind of the PERSON you are
> dealing with.

> One example stands out in my mind, a young
> man with Cerebral Palsy who was
> "classified" as Mentally Retarded.
> The amazing thing for me to see was his
> total change of behavior when he was around
> "professionals" in the MR/DD
> field.

> He was EXPECTED to act like a person with
> Mental Retardation and he DID. He lived up
> to his label.

> As you might imagine I was somewhat of a
> thorn, no, make that a real pain in the
> a**es of the professionals because I was
> always challenging the professional view and
> advocating for the residents and/or their
> parents, who are treated with disdain by
> many professionals who "know what's
> best" for Johnny.

> Barry Neil Kaufmann did TRY ANOTHER WAY, and
> he had incredible results. He and his wife
> went INTO their son's world, not vice versa
> as most parents do. They conformed to his
> world, and all the professionals and experts
> in most Social Services try to get people to
> conform to the NORM, whatever that is.

> My point for the week is about LANGUAGE. And
> what language you are speaking to yourself
> and to others.

> What LABELS have you accepted about
> yourself?

> Mother? Sister? Wife? Boss? Internet wizard?

> Make a list of all the labels you wear. Ask
> yourself what you THINK about the meaning of
> each of those. You may have a list of a few
> dozen LABELS and the million dollar question
> is:

> What DO YOU BRING to each of those labels?
> What do you EXPECT from other people?

> Are the people in your life responding to
> your EXPECTATION?

> That is the common element of Barry Neil
> Kaufmann and Marshall B. Rosenberg...the
> LANGUAGE of EXPECTATION.

> In Marshall's Non-violent communication
> approach, you learn how language effects
> what and how you process information, and if
> you do it in a way that is non violent, you
> can help other people by the way your
> message is presented.

> Barry uses a Socratic non-judgmental
> approach to elicit answers, and by doing so,
> allows people to get in touch with their
> real feelings.

> In Remote Influence I teach people how to
> use the Pictogrigm of Preoccupation, and how
> you can effectively enter the other person's
> world.

> When you do that, when you can wear their
> shoes, get inside their head, have a clear
> understanding from their VIEW, from their
> perspective, from their REALITY...

> then you can make magic happen.

> What language are you using today?

> Gordon Alexander