Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words...

Can have a devastating effect on a young mind.

"Johnny, you're not worth 2 cents!", he yelled disgustedly, as he turned the car around to go back to the river bank where we had been fishing.

I had forgotten to pick up the tackle box and put it in the car. Fortunately, it was still there. Everything would be OK now...but I would never forget those words.

I loved my Dad and wanted him to be pleased with me. I wanted him to be proud of me. I had disappointed him. He had said that I wasn't worth two cents.

As I sat in the back seat crying to myself, he asked what was wrong? When I told him, he told me that he didn't really mean what he said. That it was just a figure of speech.

But I had heard my Dad tell me that I wasn't worth two cents. It was too late. The words were indelibly written in my memory.

Let me say here that my Dad was not a mean man. I know he loved me very much. I was about 7 or 8 at the time. He had two other kids to care for by now. I was the first born, so I guess while he learned parenting, I was trying to learn to be a son.

I believe I spent the rest of my early life trying to "prove" that I was worth MORE than two cents. I made sure I was on the honor roll at school. Everything I did, I did well...or not at all. There are a lot of things I have never attempted...because I thought I might fail, and I couldn't risk that!

I never mentioned this to my Dad after that day that I know of. He was a very quiet reserved man, and I would not have wanted to hurt him.

He was reserved about showing his emotions, too. But, a few years before he died, I do remember an occassion where, as grown men, we embraced each other and I told him that I loved him. He responded, "I love you, too, Johnny". Those are words I will never forget.

Be blessed,
JDB


St. Patrick's Day Special - $17

John ...thanks for sharing that story...one
of the hardest things for people is to
restrain what they say in a moment of anger...
We are often told to "express our anger"..but
the lesson in your story is to find constructive
ways to do so and to get more in touch with
your own feelings and source of your own pain...

Sometimes parents want their children to "excel"
in areas of their parents weakness. Many parents
live vicariously through their children and when
the child does not meet up to a certain standard
the parent feels as if they've failed...

Your story touched a nerve today....thank you..

As you found out it's important to seperate the
issue of "loving your parent" from "disliking
their behaviors"...in an emotionally charged
atmosphere, it can be difficult...

Anger is a brief madness-
Horace, Epistles,Book I, 20 B.C

Father forgive them; for they know not what they
do.-Luke 23:34

To err is human, to forgive, divine-
Alexander Pope
An Essay on Criticism,1711

Hey JDB,

These are POWERFUL words. I am grateful you have come so far, and the story of you and your Dad brought tears to my eyes.

THANK YOU!

With Purpose and Passion,

JULIE JORDAN SCOTT


Passion is as Passion Does