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![]() ...and for this reason.
I have a duaghter named Taylor Whitney Trump and I am hard on here because I want her to excel at everything she puts her hand to, period. However, after reading this information I think I should re-think my approach to interacting with her. My uncle used to be real hard on me when I strated in this field. I see why he was so hard now, but I don't want to give my daughter the same memories that I have at becoming a success. So, thank you for the guidance. Taylor > Did you get a chance to visit Barry Neil > Kaufman at www.option.org ? Did you take > the virtual tour of the Campus? > I first learned of Barry Neil and Samahria > when I was a house parent at a group home > for Developmentally Disabled people and we > had an autistic resident. > At that time the Son-Rise program was in > it's infancy, but was of great interest to > people who worked with people with autism. > So, I've carefully followed their careers > and regard them as MASTERS of life. > When you work with people who have been > labeled HANDICAPPED, you are taught to bring > certain expectations with you...and from my > living with people for 8 years, that is, in > the house 24 hours a day 7 days a week, > through it all... > I found that most EXPERTS don't know what > they are talking about, those experts that > are book smart and experience stupid. You > can't believe how parents have to fight so > hard against the "knowledge" and > wisdom of the experts. > Anyhow, the minute you slap a label on a > person, there comes with it all kinds of > societal connotations. Whether that label is > Mentally Retarded, Developmentally Disabled, > Autistic, Severally Mentally Ill, Substance > Abusing Menatlly Ill... > or Marketer, or Guru or whatever... > there is an inherent meaning in your mind. > And also in the mind of the PERSON you are > dealing with. > One example stands out in my mind, a young > man with Cerebral Palsy who was > "classified" as Mentally Retarded. > The amazing thing for me to see was his > total change of behavior when he was around > "professionals" in the MR/DD > field. > He was EXPECTED to act like a person with > Mental Retardation and he DID. He lived up > to his label. > As you might imagine I was somewhat of a > thorn, no, make that a real pain in the > a**es of the professionals because I was > always challenging the professional view and > advocating for the residents and/or their > parents, who are treated with disdain by > many professionals who "know what's > best" for Johnny. > Barry Neil Kaufmann did TRY ANOTHER WAY, and > he had incredible results. He and his wife > went INTO their son's world, not vice versa > as most parents do. They conformed to his > world, and all the professionals and experts > in most Social Services try to get people to > conform to the NORM, whatever that is. > My point for the week is about LANGUAGE. And > what language you are speaking to yourself > and to others. > What LABELS have you accepted about > yourself? > Mother? Sister? Wife? Boss? Internet wizard? > Make a list of all the labels you wear. Ask > yourself what you THINK about the meaning of > each of those. You may have a list of a few > dozen LABELS and the million dollar question > is: > What DO YOU BRING to each of those labels? > What do you EXPECT from other people? > Are the people in your life responding to > your EXPECTATION? > That is the common element of Barry Neil > Kaufmann and Marshall B. Rosenberg...the > LANGUAGE of EXPECTATION. > In Marshall's Non-violent communication > approach, you learn how language effects > what and how you process information, and if > you do it in a way that is non violent, you > can help other people by the way your > message is presented. > Barry uses a Socratic non-judgmental > approach to elicit answers, and by doing so, > allows people to get in touch with their > real feelings. > In Remote Influence I teach people how to > use the Pictogrigm of Preoccupation, and how > you can effectively enter the other person's > world. > When you do that, when you can wear their > shoes, get inside their head, have a clear > understanding from their VIEW, from their > perspective, from their REALITY... > then you can make magic happen. > What language are you using today? > Gordon Alexander |
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