How/where do you find confidence without security?...

Yes - exactly! It's not confidence, but FREEDOM from worry I seek.

So, everyone (else) who seems not to be worried, is faking it (?)

I was going on the hope I could someday reach that level of not worrying -- or at least worrying less!

You're saying that level cannot be achieved? (so I should give up trying (?))

If so, life sucks worse than I thought. I thought it was just ME suffering THIS much (with debilitating worry).

So I just learn to live with it?? (+ maybe fake it better?)

I seem to be worrying WAAAAAY more than I used to.
Maybe because I'm treading water in a deeper pool than before(more responsibility + more to lose, etc.)

Originally Posted by Bozo

I think what you're trying to get to here, is a lack of worry. I don't think that's possible.

Confidence is something other people see, so you can fake that. Worry is strictly internal, and I don't think you can eliminate it.

Your RE friend had confidence that the house would sell, but he had no skin in the game and so could afford to be confident. When it's your skin, worry comes with the program.

I think it's ok to worry, even natural and unavoidable. But, it's what you do while worrying that determines the outcome.

Let the worry consume you and you won't be able to do anything but worry.

Be worried, but keep hammering away at a solution, and you may come out ok in the end. Or not. All you can do is keep trying.

Even when you're supremely confident in a good outcome, your whole world can turn to crap in an instant. Confidence is no more valuable than worry.

The best you can do is keep flying the plane until the noise stops.

.

[Dien Rice]

Originally Posted by -TW

Yes - exactly! It's not confidence, but FREEDOM from worry I seek.

So, everyone (else) who seems not to be worried, is faking it (?)

I was going on the hope I could someday reach that level of not worrying -- or at least worrying less!

Hi Tim,

One "lesson" I've come across over and over - from multiple sources - is to first look at the "downside"...

That is - what is the risk that you'll lose money doing this?

Next question is - how can you reduce or even eliminate that risk of losing money? (Having a "plan B" is one way to reduce your risk - though it's usually not the only way...)

If you can't reduce or eliminate the risk of losing money - then find another idea to work on...

Here are some posts from the past about this - giving people like Richard Branson, Bob Reiss, and even a quote from Donald Trump as examples...!

How to succeed in business - by making lots of mistakes! (Donald Trump, Richard Branson...)

How to create a business with zero risk.... (Bob Reiss)

If you've got ways to reduce or eliminate your risk of losing money - you can take comfort from it!

The other thing is - if your business fails - because you've "planned" to reduce your financial risk in the case of that possibility, you're more likely to be able to "come back" and try again.

The people who start their first business and lose their life savings, or more, are usually the people who have NOT gone through this process!

Best wishes,

Dien

There are two types of money. Income + outgo. You can eliminate some worry by being careful where you put your outgo (biz risk), yes -- I see that.

On the other hand, it's hard to reduce worry when you're worried about where the next income is coming from!

I’m trained to see the signs of confidence and the signs of a lack of true self-confidence and let me tell you…I see many, many more people who lack true self-confidence than those who have it.
moazafonline

[GordonJ]

Originally Posted by saramartin

I’m trained to see the signs of confidence and the signs of a lack of true self-confidence and let me tell you…I see many, many more people who lack true self-confidence than those who have it.
moazafonline

This is great for you, how does this advance the thread, care to share some of that training...and isn't it MOST people????

Please contribute or don't waste our time.

Gordon Alexander